I was so cheered by the responses of our friends and family to our surprising news. I wasn't expecting people to be mean or judgmental or anything, but everyone being so warm and encouraging really put me in a happy state of mind about circumstances. I felt especially nervous about telling some of the adoption-minded people in my life and they were maybe the most gentle and understanding. It's good to have so many people in one's life who are reassuring and positive and supportive; I am really grateful for the gift of so much kindness and all these relationships. So, thank you. Really.
So far, this seems more like the first trimester of Grace's pregnancy than the first trimester of Violet's pregnancy, which is a good thing because man, I was a MESS when I was pregnant with Violet. This time it is the same kind of stuff but not as extreme. Of course, I am typing this after a particularly rough morning (the nausea! the headache! the nearly irresistible urge to lie down somewhere!) but no, it is true-- I am not as badly off this time. We are splitting hairs here though, because pregnancy has once again managed to turn me into an emo hot mess. Ugh, I think this may be the part of pregnancy I dislike the most-- the mental/emotional craziness and just how foreign the inside of my head feels. I can just feel the craziness welling up inside of me sometimes and I know I am not going to make it through whatever conversation I am in without utterly losing it. For example, things that have made me cry big hot blubbery tears in the past few weeks have included:
- telling people that probably we're not going to adopt this year,
- this video about being Muslim in America,
- the funeral episode of How I Met Your Mother, and
- this bit from The Daily Show about a community in Mississippi.
I've had a couple of people ask me why we are pretty sure we are having a girl this time around, so I shall share. Have you heard about the whole fast sperm vs. slow sperm thing? On average, girl sperm are slow but live a long time while boy sperm are fast but die quickly. When Rob and I were in the stage of, "What?! How did this happen?" (the answer, of course: the usual way) we were going back through our schedule and calendar and all that and the only thing that makes any sense is a slow sperm situation. So there you go! TMI! We'll see if we're right in, oh, 10 weeks or so.