Thursday, March 2, 2006

An Ode to Robert


This week has marked the end of Rob’s two-week paternity leave and his return to doctoring. It’s been quite an adjustment to move from the two of us caring for Grace to all Julia, all the time during his working hours. Grace is still a very new baby and wants to be held all the time; I am very accepting of this and want to meet her needs for physical closeness and show her that she can trust us and be secure. However, it does present a challenge when it is time for me to, you know, take a shower or eat some lunch. She has cried more this week, as her retinue has decreased in size by half. The week has felt somewhat draining but has gone well, and Grace is slowly gaining the security and confidence to sleep for little stretches with a little more distance between her and us.

The week has made me realize anew how glad I am that Rob is my partner in this crazy endeavor called parenthood. He was really available and proactive during his weeks at home, even taking care of things he wouldn’t normally care about, like making sure the house is neat and the dishes done and all that. I guess he realizes that things like that could knock out my equilibrium being that I’m already stretched thin. Rob’s been really great this week as well. A few evenings, I was feeling quite fragile by the time he got home after a day spent meeting Grace’s intense, immediate needs and not doing a good job meeting my own less-immediate needs (food, sleep, etc). He made me dinner and told me I was doing a good job being a mother and packed me off to bed; what a huge relief to have someone do that for me...

I think the moments that make me the most glad that I’m doing this parenthood thing with Rob are seeing him with Grace, though. I am still pretty overwhelmed by my own love for Grace and how I feel connected to her down in the very core of who I am. In some ways, it is even cooler still to see Rob love her and think she’s amazing and want to be with her. The mysterious tangle of relationships that is “family” looks pretty beautiful to me right now, and I am so happy that it’s Rob here with me.

So here’s to you, Rob; thanks for being who you are. Let’s see how your first night of call goes next week...

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